Hello World…(Does that make anyone ELSE want to sing like the Partridge’s?)

I’m starting a blog. Well, a second. The first I started for a class (on blogspot, blech) and only updated it once, claiming that I was going to become the next Perez Hilton. Ohhh, failed dreams.

I’m starting this in order to get shit out there. I can’t afford therapy and my family (who I blame for my needing therapy) pick on my relentlessly when I feel the need to talk shit out. Granted, I don’t share things out loud very often, but when I do, watch out. I laugh, I cry, I may or may not have a habit of throwing things (I have a lifetime ban from the games “Catch Phrase” and “20 Q”.)

I’m a shy girl, but I’m also painfully snarky. It pisses my parents and siblings 1-5 off to no end. Well, it’s technically siblings 1-4 and 6 since I’m number 5. (If you are curious about the genders, it goes like this: 1=M, 2=F, 3=M, 4=F, 5=ME!!!, 6=M. Only 4,5,and 6 are my mom’s And yeah. I have 3 brothers. Terrifying.)

I religiously watch Penguin hockey, and most of my friends are male. Yet, I have a dating history of…well…none. No “serious” relationships in my past…just passing….nothings. Hell, I’ve never even really had a good fling.  The closest I’ve ever come to a “relationship” was with one of my favorite people…and we were both too g-damn shy to say anything to the other.  We talked daily…until he met current girlfriend. They’ve been together for 3 years. Anddd I’m over it, really. I can’t even dislike her, she’s so damn sweet.  And I love her mom. But I’m over it. No! Seriously!

Again, due to my friendships with the opposite sex, I have trouble getting along with girls. Or, maybe I’m friends with dudes because I hate girls. Whatever.   I hate the drama of chicks….though my boys are drama among themselves (and 99% of them are straight! Go Figure!!!)  I actually had this conversation at work over Christmas Break (I work retail, God save my soul). I was talking to my manager, and she asked if I was dating anyone. I said no, and then proceeded to explain that I get the “little sister”/”best friend” thing from guys a lot.  And then, I continued on, “but I could never even be a lesbian, because I hate girls.”  Cue awkward laughing, and my newfound blush. (It used to only show up when I drank.)

So, dear friends that may or may not exist, I implore you to stick around and encourage me to continue this adventure into cyber-land.  I may lead the boring life of a 21-year-old, anti-social/socially inept college student, but at least I’ll give you something to laugh about. My never-ending snark and cynicism haven’t failed me yet!

-Dani

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